March Moments- from the journal

 3/1/24

Wow, I can't believe it is already march! Time is flying by so fast! Today was just simply amazing. My Spanish gets 1% better each day. I was reading the Book of Mormon in Spanish this morning, and though I couldn’t comprehend much of the information, I was able to get a general idea! The Book of Mormon is just simply powerful, and I am so grateful for my testimony of it. My companion had a little bit of a panic attack this morning, and I was able to be patient and love her. And helping her understand that communication is very important with your companions. You both have taught me so well how to  be patient in tough situations because of the way that you have dealt with me (especially in my teenage years). We also recorded ourselves singing a song with some of the district. One of the elders arranged it and it was very powerful! It is amazing to see the spirit work through each one of us! Me and Hermana pace (the 22-year-old) are getting along much better. Our personalities are very similar, and it is so easy to just have fun with her! During my workout today I rode the bike for 30 minutes. 5 minute warmup with 20 minutes of 1 minute on one minute off. I got my heart rate up to 175! IT FELT SO GOOD! Although it did make me cry afterwards because I haven’t been able to run. Boy do I miss running, I did not think it would be this hard. But I am grateful for the exercise I do get! After the gym we just played outside! It was nice to feel like a normal person again! During my workout I listened to a talk by Elder Holland, my favorite like was “You did not come this far to only come this far.” This is a quote I lived by my senior season of track. It is very special to me. All this training I have put in is worth it. There will be hills to climb and valleys to cross, but I am here for it. “keep going, keep running,  keep pushing. I am here to keep going.” We also have our travel plans today. I am super stoked about that!! I don’t have to wake up at the butt crack of don!!! I am so grateful for my parents who have got me to the point I am at right now. Family and God's grace keeps me going. I owe Jesus Christ so much, so even when the mission is over…I still have many many miles to run. This gospel is true. I feel this spirit so much everyday, and it testifies to me of its truth. I am so grateful for all the prophets and how they have helped me become a better disciple of Jesus Christ. He is my friend, brother, and savior. Through Him I have hope and strength. 

3/2/2024

Today was 10/10! Lots of fun!! Taught a lesson in Spanish. It went so well!! I was able to speak so much!! My companion is seriously getting on my nerves, but it is ok I only have 6 days to go. She is literally like a roller coaster of emotions. I don’t understand it. My emotions have been pretty stable so that is good! I am so excited to get out of this place. I have been lacking a little bit in my confidence lately, especially with the language. And my skin is breaking out so bad, and my hair is falling out from the water. But anyway there are lots of blessings in my life! Whatever you focus on increases! So I need to focus on the blessing! I will sleep in until 7 tomorrow! woot woot!

3/3/2024

Today was literally so hot. Fast Sunday was amazing. I was able to listen to the testimonies of the other missionaries in sacrament meeting. It is amazing to see that all these kids my age are going to teach the gospel in many languages just because they love the lord. Being able to fast today was such a blessing, I think this is the first time that I have fasted and not focused about the hunger and just aloud the fast to draw me nearer to my 

savior. Fasting is such a blessing and i hadn’t realized it until now. Tonight's devotional was so so powerful. We talked about how the book of Mormon is a treasure of our day. And really asking ourselves it is a treasure in our day. I am grateful for the book of Mormon and the power it brings into my life! We also talked about how every missionary ever wonders about if this is what they should be doing. And then we went on to discuss some scriptures that were telling us that we were for ordained to do this work. We discussed that in heaven we wanted to come down and be a servant of the lord, and fight this fight. And we didn’t decide to serve a mission a few months or years ago. It happened in the premortal life, when we were fighting the battle with Satan. Also during the devotional I got kinda a little prompting that I should be an athletic trainer when I get back! So that is actually kinda dope! We will see where that prompting takes me. I am getting so excited to leave but also it is going to be so hard to say goodbye to all my friends! One girl, Sister Maxfield, we were talking about how we immediately clicked and how we have to hangout after our missions, and she might consider coming to SUU! And then some other sister in my branch we were talking about how we all have to hangout after the missions and go camping or something! And one of those sister was in Japrixs ward in price! And she said that Japrix gives the best talks in church! So that was kinda fun! 

3/4/24

Today was fuego!! I am getting so excited to get to the mission and get to work. Lately I have been feeling nervous that I am not going to fulfill my missionary purpose. But then tonight in class we talked about our desires to serve and love others whether we get rejected or not. All I know is that I need to work hard and get closer and closer to God each day, and he will take care of the rest! I have really been internalizing the “forget yourself and go to work” phrase today. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good! Tomorrow is super busy, but I am going to kill it!! MAKE EACH MOMENT COUNT!

3/8/24

Woke up this morning and all my companions were gone. Honestly so sad. Goodbyes are literally the worst. On the way to the airport right now and we are riding the train! So that is super cool! Made some new friends! They are super nice and they are headed to arcadia too! missions are hard and it is kinda scary to be headed to a completely new place. But I know God Will watch over me and my family. Maybe I'll get to see stockton at the airport!! Excited to meet my mission comp and mission president!

3/9/24

Today was very interesting! First full day in the field. It was definitely good but also hard! I met my trainer yesterday, Hermana Pachego, she is amazing! She is from Honduras and is seriously the sweetest! I have to drive us around because she does not have a license. So that is super exciting. We spend the first half of the day weekly planning. I was honestly so homesick and cried most of personal study because it is just a big change. Our apartment is small and kind of run down, and we share it with two other hermanas. They are honestly so fun and energetic! I went running with one of them this morning! It is so pretty here I love the sun and the trees, and the mountains, and the fact that it is so green! We had a member take us and some elders out to lunch! That was nice, and then we went door contacting, and talked to several people, a couple people might be interested. I don’t really know what is going on ever, but I just bare my testimony when my trainer tells me to. She is patient and such a sweet heart, but she is also super quiet and it kinda gets lonely sometimes. Hopefully we have some people come to church with us tomorrow.

3/10/24

Today was better. The mornings are kinda slow, which I don’t love but it is ok. We went to church and the ward was pretty small, there was probably 20-30 people in there. I introduced myself in Spanish and bore my testimony. I didn’t really understand anything anyone was saying, but everyone was super nice, and gave me lots of hugs and was patient with my not so good Spanish. Afterwards we went to a member meal and she fed us some GOOD food! Her house was tiny, we were sitting on a couch slash bed, and the elders were sitting on a bed with a table in the middle. then we did some personal study. And I have just been wondering if I should be here because I am definitely homesick right now. I can’t tell if this is where I am supposed to be, and my stupid fear came back again, and all I want to do is just be home. So yeah kinda struggling, and I don’t know what to do…After personal study we went to a park to find people, and we taught 3 lessons! Most of the time I just wait to bare my testimony when my companion looks at me hahah. Lots of people are curious about how I am learning Spanish and I tell them about the MTC. After the park we came back home to make dinner. We made dinner with the other hermanas and had a cute dinner date. I’m excited for P-day tomorrow becuase we are playing zone games and i get to get some food at the store! The food in the fridge is kinda weird and I don’t know exactly what to cook. So yeah. Love you both!

3/11-3/24

The last couple days have been amazing! Yesterday night We were having a hard tome getting in contact with any of our friends, buy it lead us to Marce and Gustavo! They are a mom and a son and they are honestly so sweet and amazing! They were so excited about our message that they wanted to meet with us again today! Gustavo speaks English, and so we gave him the picture book BOM and he was so excited for it!!!! At the end of our lesson today I helped him say his first prayer he was so nervous but I told him if he did it I would come back and play basketball with Him! So he did! And I gave him a 3x5 card with the steps of prayer on it! We are meeting up with them again tomorrow! They are going to come to English class which we will help teach and then we are going to give them a tour of the church! Zone council this morning was so great! I love our zone, everyone is so cool plus Elder Davis from my mtc zone is there, so it's even better because he has become like my brother! We talked about going the extra mile! So that really hit my heart! Today we also had a member meal and she fed me so much food!! Her grandson was At her house and I seriously just love kids and he has become one of my good friends! And then tonight we also made another friend tonight! We are going back to visit him on Thursday! And his current little son was playing with me and gave me a big cookie! I am absolutely exhausted now but getting 1% better each day. We also went and taught our friend Christian who is on date to be baptized on the 30th! He speaks English and it was so nice to actually contribute to a lesson! Hopefully he keeps following through with his commitments. Also today after the zone council we went to raising canes with the other hermanas in our zone! They are awesome and such a party! 

3/13/24

Today was absolutely insane! I had my training for all the new missionaries! It was SO long! But it was so awesome to get to know President and Sister Jones more and just see their testimonies. The power was so strong! It was also super overwhelming because I felt like I was drinking out of water hose and it was honestly just scaring me! We talked about a lot of great things at this meeting that wil help us become better missionaries. I am grateful for more guidance on how to continue my missionary efforts! Our missionary vision states, “ We are a covenant keeping mission. Because of our love for God, we strive daily to do His will in Jesus Christ by joyfully fulfilling our missionary purpose. We cleave unto charity as we are led by the spirit in bringing souls unto Christ, beginning with our own. We strive to recognize the language of the spirit, powerfully share the truth of the Book of Mormon and god’s plan and use opposition as and opportunity to grow faith in Jesus Christ.”

I am so excited about this mission vision. I can really see that President cares about us and I love that one thing he focused on is if anything we need to become further converted ourselves to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Also there were some things today that I was able to open up to Hermana Pachego about and it is crazy to see that we are seriously supposed to be each others companions, she is seriously so nice and patient with me and my Spanish…Another member fed us tonight and it was SOO BUSSIN! I am worried that I am going to get fat hahah. Then we went to the church to help with a relief society meeting and then we taught English class and we invited her to come to church with us on Sunday and she is going to come! HURRAY FOR MIRACLES!!

3/15/24

The last couple days have been crazy. Yesterday we got turned down so many times and so many of our appointments fell through. NOT FUN! We were so tiered by like 7:30, so yeah it was a rough day. Today we taught a lesson right at 9. Her name is Beatriz and she has lots of potential we are meeting with her agian next week. Then we had district role plays which was fun, I love getting together with the district. It is nice way tp break up the day. I also was setting goals with he STLs they are so amazing. They said I am doing so good and they said they can just tell I am a very strong diligent person. We did weekly planning today, that always takes forever. Then we went to a member dinner, and her daughter spoke English and she loves to run also! so that was a nice way to bond. Then we went and played soccer with the youth! They are so fun! 

3/16/24

Today was good! We went to the park to do some finding there and we met this lady who just moved to America like 6 days ago! We invited her to come to church so hopefully we can get her to come! A Cool miracle that I saw was that we accidently had a English BOM in our car, and I grabbed it instead of a Spanish one by accident, but I knew that God had me grab that one for a reason. We ended up meeting someone who only spoke English! She was a young girl who was interested in learning more about God. So, I gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon! She didn’t want to give us her phone number, but we gave her ours and said to contact us if she was interest! Hopefully she does contact us! At night we walked down a Blvd holding up a whiteboard for people who had questions about Jesus! It was so fun! We did that with the other tow sisters in our apartment and the other two elders in my district! After we went and taught a lesson to a mom who we helped clean her house earlier in the day and her daughters were so cute! they spoke English so I was talking with them the whole lesson. and they were climbing all over me and I had no idea what was happening but it was kinda fun I guess you could say hahah! Definitely a highlight of the day!

3/18-19/24

PDAY- I have a love hate relationship with pdays. They are so fun but they are so stressful. You have to get everything done on pdays. And trying to talk with all the family is stressful because i want to talk to everyone. And I feel bad because i feel like I just have a mental breakdown I talk with my parents. So yeah sorry… But yeah missions are tough, I don’t know why everyone talks them up as much as they do. But then again it is the most important work on the earth today. I read the talk Missionary work and the atonement today. It basically talks about how important the gospel is and how it message is an urgent message, but it also talks about the how each missionary has to experience their own gethsemane in order to be humble enough to teach his gospel. I have also come to realize that god has assigned to speak a language just so I can be humble enough to teach his gospel. Lets just say that is hard to come to understand. But it is all part of the process. I loved studying the material dad sent tonight. And the scriptures mom sent! It helped me internalize and personalize why I am out here. I am so grateful to have parents and a savior who know how to support me always. God is good and he is ALWAYS there. I think part of me forgot about that

 Ok so now for the good stuff. last night we taught the plan of salvation to Gustavo and marce! Gustavo seems to be more excited about it than marce. They are honestly such nice people! I have grown to really love them! I used the plan of salvation tiles that stockton gave me for Christmas to help teach the lesson, and Gustavo loved it so much he had to take a picture! They are so awesome! Plus Marce drives a 4runner so yeah that is dope! Today I decided to wake up with a better more positive focus, and enjoy being where I am. The other two hermans ran hill sprints with me! They call me their personal trainer hahaha! Then we had zone council where we were invited to extend a baptismal invitation everyday! I am honestly so excited about it! It helps us focus on the goal of twice in white! Then we had role plays with our district and though I was only able to bare my testimony I made a couple of the sisters cry because the spirit was so strong apparently! I hope that is what is like for my friends! Oh also later in the day we are pretty sure we caught our friend on date smoking with his cousins, he had a lighter and a smoke tray next to him. We didn’t do much about it so we left, but then we didn’t know what to do so we said a prayer and I had a prompting that we need to go back and say a prayer with him and ask him if he was smoking with his cousins. IT WAS TERRIFYING!! He said he wasn’t smoking, but we know he definitely was, so yeah tomorrows lesson with him might be a little difficult! 

3/20-21/2024

Yesterday we got to do exchanges with the STLs. Hemanao Pecheco has been in lots of pain, I never thought her pain would become such a burden for me. Anyway the exchanges were so fun! I went with Hermana Marble and we rode bikes! Her area was in Pasadena so it was nice to get out of the ghetto hahah. But riding bikes was so fun because I felt like I got to be by myself! I even started singign on the bike! It was honestly the best thing ever! Going on an exchange with her was so nice because she actually made me talk and help teach in Spanish! It has been hard with Hermana Pecheco because she really just likes to do everything herself. I am starting to see why she has just been a trainer now… but yeah, I slept over at there apartment and it is so much nicer than ours!!! Our apartment really is the worst one in the whole mission so that sucks for us hahah. But in ther morning she went running with me!! We went to a really nice park and ran 2 MILES!! That is the furthest I have ran in 2 months! Never thought I would be so excited to run just two miles!

 Today coming back to Hermana Pecheco was honestly kind of hard. She just has been very strict lately, and it’s not like I am doing anything wrong either she has just been very passive aggressive. I am going to blame it on her pain for right now, but hopefully it gets better. We had a crazy cool miracle today. We went to a park and were just looking for people and this one guy kept looking at us kinda weird, so we were a little skeptical to go talk to him but it is a good thing we did. His whole family is a part of the church, but he never joined so he basically is like the prodigal son. But anyway he tried going back to his parents and they rejected him, and not to long ago both of his parents died. So anyway this morning he was praying to God to send someone his way or just to help him! And then we found him! And he already want to be baptized! He has such a desire and knows that our church is true! The down side is is that he is in a different are :( But so excited for him!

 I have been homesick today and seeing the gender reveal was so exciting but really sad at the same time! I miss my family! I am so excited for Stockton and Amanda to have a baby BOY though!!!

3/22/24

TWO MONTH MARK!! I can’t tell if it went by super-fast or super slow haha. Today was crazy. Fridays are always crazy though because it is weekly planning. We have roleplays every Friday with our district. They are so good for me but I absolutely do not like them. Especially because the language is hard. But after roleplays we went out to lunch as a district to carls junior and it was so fun!! I am so happy our area is small so we can get together as a district a lot!! Our friend Christian also passed his baptismal interview today so that is super amazing!! His baptism will be next Saturday! And then tonight we has sports night with our ward, but no one from the ward showed up just a lot of our friends!! So I played soccer with a bunch of iddle aged men, the elders, and hermana pacheco. It was super scary but I actually went after the ball a lot suprise suprise. All the latinios would just laugh at me though because I was so bad and they were all so good hahah. Now I am typing in my journal and all the other hermanas are talking in Spanish and I have no idea what they are saying. But hakuna matata (That is my new favorite phrase to use so i don’t start crying).

3/23/22

Today was a hard one. I cried a lot. I am actually terrified that something will happen to my family. I have been doing so well at focusing on the positive and the hope Jeus christ brings, but today I just broke. I do not know what to do. I am hoping it gets better. It gets to the point where I can’t breath very well and I just want to go home. Elder Holland said that every missionary has to experience their own gethsemane, but man I don’t know how Jesus Christ suffered for all the pains of the world. 

On a brighter note one of our friends came to a baptism the other hermanas had and he is super hyped to start his journey on the covenant path. 

3/24/24

Sundays are honestly so nice because the mornings are not rushed and you can just kinda relax in the morning. Today in church I got so sad because I saw a girls sitting between her mom and dad, and then I just really wanted my mom and dad. But I actually understood a little bit about what was being said in sacrament today! So that was a big W!! Our friend on date to be baptized this Saturday didn’t show up so we had to push his date back which sucks, but another one of our friends came to church so that was exciting!! The days have been super slow recently and I am struggling so bad. UGGGGG. A member fed us dinner tonight which was awesome! And the put on the big soccer game that was happening for the USA vs Mexico. I am starting to like to play soccer I suck at it but I like it. If anything I just like running up and down the field. It rained a ton today and the latinos don’t like to go out in the rain, so not much happened grrr but that is ok I guess.

Taught two lessons tonight and made a new friend! Super exciting! We are trying to hit our goals this week, so we got to work a little harder to achieve them! We taught a old couple tonight and they are honestly the cutest! You can just tell they love each other. And then we taught Gustavo and Marce, we are hoping they will keep progressing. Gustavo is a lot more excited about the gospel than marce is, so hopefully we can change that! 

3/26/24

Today was good. Woke up and did a pretty good workout. Although when I use my jump rope I whip myself sometimes, it is so painful. Me and my companion during companion study were talking and I was telling her how I dont know if I should be her or not. And she told me not to think about what anyone would think or say to me, and to understand and pray to know what god wants me to do. So during personal study I was reading in 3 Nephi 18. And in one scripture it said “I give unto you another commandment and then I must go unto my father that I may fulfil other commandments which he hath given me.” So yeah that stuck out to me, but I am still strying to figure out God’s plan for me. And later in the chapter it says “behold I know my sheep, and they are numbered” and then I knew that I have to help gather his sheep because He knows and loves each and every one of them. And then I was reading a talk by elder uctdorf and he said, “do not deviate from the course of the lord” and to have “self discipline to stay on this path.” In my patriarchal blessing it says if I make the choice to serve I will bless many people. I think god knows I don’t like being told what to do. 

Also today we met with our friend Christian and he is SO EXCITED to be baptized! We did lots of home to home contacting today and didn’t have a whole lot of success. But we did get invited to a different church today, so that was crazy hahaa!! And then we went to a members house tonight and she was telling a crazy story but I didn’t understand a lick of it! But that is alright! I am focusing on what I can do and not what I can’t. 

3/28/24

Today we had a zone conference! It was so good we focused a lot on the savior and Easter. We then went to a cemetery and some super cool paintings that were so big! Like 4 school buses tall and 5 school buses long! And It was all about the savior and the day he was resurrected. Today was also super painful and hard. I am so confused on what I want to do. Because I know I felt a mission was right for me before, but now I am not so sure because I don’t know how I thought I could stay away from my family for this long. My heart literally hurts and I just want to be home. I have tried so many things to not be homesick but this week has been hell. My companion loves to be obedient, and I like to be obedient too but there have been a couple things that I have just slipped up on and I can tell she tries to do it out of love, but it just makes me feel like an awful person. And all the things mom sent me that I should consider I have considered them. How would this choice effect my life now and in the future? I do not know. I know that Christ won’t with hold blessings from me because I didn’t succeed on my mission. And I am aware that so many people are going to say things. So I guess the only thing keeping me here right now is the regret that I might feel when I am home? Do i serve a service mission? Do I go serve in the st George visitor center? I am not sure what to do. I have counseled with the spirit with both options and either choice doesn’t seem right or wrong. But I also I have thought about what kind of damage it might due to me on the inside if I do come home? Because I know I will have considered myself a failure. But I also know that if it isn’t healthy for me to be out here, then it might just be best if I go home. Because I have literally just thought about getting on a bus and getting home myself, or just driving home. I seriously do not know what to do.

3/31/2024

I have not felt like writing much the last few days. It has been so hard. Many many tears have been shed. Zone conference was amazing! The spirit was so strong and it was so unique because we went to the beautiful cemetery and say this HUGE paining of the day Christ was on the cross! After we walked to a garden in the cemetery where there was a Christ statue. It was so pretty!! It was so quiet all you could to do was hear the water running which represented the living water of Christ. We have been meeting with our friends and some are progressing better than others. We made some new friends last week Donatila and Rirgo, they are a cute old couple and she has cancer. Breaks my heart, she goes in for more chemo treatments next week. It was super cool because we had the elders come and giver her a blessing and she was just crying, because she was so terrified, but she could feel the peace of the savior. It was also super awesome to see the Hamiltons! They were so niche to take us four hermanas out to lunch. It was really good to just hug sister hamilton, I cried a little bit to her as well. Yesterday I met with president jones. And can I just say he is so amazing and loving. It was super cool cause we started our conversation about him telling me all the stories of him and His sons doing super hard things before they went on their missions: like 180 mile bike ride, a iron man, or a marathon. And I could just tell that all those things were leading our conversation to where they needed to go. And then I told him a little more about myself, and how I love running. Then we continued to go on the path of how I don’t quit even when it hurts so bad, and how I just need to take it one day at a time. Then our conversation led to trust and how I really just have to trust that god’s will is greater than mine, even if it is so very painful in the moment. We met for like 1.5 hours, it was so good!

 Our friend Christian is doing amazing! He said he wants to go visit the temple! So hopefully we will be able to do that with him! And our friend Elia, she has a really hard life, just crazy. So we are trying to bring some light into and give her some peace and guidance!

 Today is easter. It pains me to not be home, but I can get through today, because I am strong. And I know he has a plan for me. And I am LEARNING to trust in his will over mine, it’s hard but I can do it!

3/31/2024

Today was good. Except for the fact that I cried all of sacrament because u just don't want to be here. Before Church we went to stop by our friend's house to make sure He was going go come to church! And when we turned down the street he was in his electric wheelchair on his way to church. He forgot how to get there so he followed us in the car. We were going a solid 3 mph  and then after church with handed out all the suckers to all the kids for Easter! They were so happy. The bishops family lives in Utah. So it was nice to see people who know a little bit about where I am from. And then later today we taught a total of 7 lessons! It was absolutely insane. I loved ever minute of it. And quite a few people spoke English so it was nice to participate a little more! Met lots of people with potential today. Hopefully We can meet with them again!