One Month as a missionary

 2/23/2024 FRIDAY

Well one month since I became a missionary and it has nothing less than awesome! I am sitting here eating my peanut btter m&ms in honor of mom hahah. I never really know what to say becuase the days are all the same. But anyways we taught our first lesson in spanish yesterday and it was kinda a crash and burn. We were just out of it and didn’t remember a lot of things we had prepared. Its ok though becuase it was a trial run for a real teaching lesson. I am ready to get into the mission field. Everything we are learning is important and I definitely need to learn more spanish but if you sent me right now I think I would be just fine. My companion has started to get on my nerves, she is very negative, and lacks a little bit of work ethic. I have been so patient, but I am starting to loose my patience. Like she is just winy even when I suggest that we should take the stair she complains. So yeah. I am sorry I know I am just ranting but I need to get it off my chest. But the days go by so fast and I am loving it. cant wait for tomorrow

2/24/24 SATURDAY! 

I honestly don’t know what to say about the days anymore…they are all the same. The scriptures I am reading right now are just kinda boring. But I am getting through them. I am working on marking all the scriptures with tabs that relate to the lesson in preach my gospel. I am enjoying studying the scriptures. I can’t wait to get in the field and not study spanish for 7-8 hours a day. It is getting exhausting. Tomorrow is sunday so that is exciting, I get to teach another part of lesson again tomoworrow. It will be my 4th time doing so. It is crasy that we have 2 more sundays here. The sun came out today and it was so warm. We ate lunch outside and just chatted about normal life stuff! Dad sent a picute of some rassberries and I really wish I could have some. i wish I could have been at the baby shower today. It was kinda rough not to be able to be there today, kinda big life event.

2/25/2024 SUNDAY

Today was definitely a challenge. I got homesick and a lot of my fears came back again about the family. Literally gets to the point where I do not think I can breath and I just want to get up and walk out. I know this fear that keeps happening is not from God, but from satan. I was just panicky like all morning. So I decided to text Momma Magleby and ask her husband for a blessing. It gave me much strength and reassurance that I am where I am supposed to be. I am working on controlling my fear to the best of my ability. I have never experienced anxiety like this, and I know that satan is just using it against me. But I am trying to hold fast to what I know and take it one day at a time. It is scary, mos definetly. But I can do hard things. The family and god are my strength. I am doing my best to forget myself and go to work. When I do so, my worries diminish and I find peace to help me keep going. This is not the way I imagined a mission would be hard for me. I also miss running soooo much. It was always a constant for me so I am trying to figure out new things I enjoy to help keep me going. Although today was hard there were so many good things. I got so many compliments on my new yellow dress!! Lots of people said yellow was my color, never in a million years would I think anyone would say that. Me and my companion got along a lot better today and I think she actually did acts of service directly for me for the first time and forever. Also I have made some close friends with some other sisters here at the MTC and it honestly it is just so fun to see them around in between classes. Also the sun came out today which was just a huge help! Just laid on the grass for a solid 30 minutes. Then we had our sunday devotional which was fantastic. We talked about repentance and how important it is to grow closer to christ. and also the repentance isn't just about sins, but it is about CHANGE, and that we should strive to even change and be grateful for the air we breath, and acknowlege that the air we breath is becuase of go. We start our spanish week tomorrow which is kinda scary… but I know I can do hard things. Should be an interesting experince to say the least. I am trying to focus on staying in the moment and being 1% better each day.

2/26/24 MONDAY

Today was good, started speak your language which has its challenges, but I know we can do hard things through jesus christ. As I was doing my personal study today I was reading in mosiah 24. My favoire verse out of there says, 14: “And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the lord God, do visit my poeple in their afflictions.” I seriously felt that god was speaking to me thorugh this scipure, I have never felt the spirit work like this before. I am trying to hard to put trust in god right now, never would I have thought a mission would be hard like this. Although it is hard I am seeing so many blessings and trying to stay posotive for me and my companion who just struggles with posotivity. God is good all the time, and all the time god is good. I love this gospel. I can feel his love for me.

 I got my new golf pants and shoes today in the mail, they are so freaking comfy!! Working on being patient and having eyes to see. It is difficult to say the least, but I am trying. I got some emails from friends on their missions today, and one of them I haven’t heard from in a while, so that was defineltley a blessing! 

 Faith over fear is so difficult, but I know i can do it! I love Christ, and I know he loves me. And sometimes that is all that you need.